Me: We’re here for napkins.
Mom: And Halloween candy.
Me: Napkins. Halloween candy.
Abuela: That is a gorgeous sweater!
Me: Napkins. Sweater. Halloween candy.
Abuela: What does that sign say? Are they on sale?
Me: Buy one, get one half
Abuela: Ooooh, that open one is nice too.
Me: Napkins. Sweater. Cardigan. Halloween candy. Napkins. Sweater. Cardigan. Halloween candy. Napkins―
Mom: Jeans are included in the sale. Wouldn’t these look great on me?
Me: NAPKINS. SWEATER. CARDIGAN. JEANS. I can’t fucking take you two―Hol’ up, is that dress on sale too? Does it come in my size?
**One hour later**
Me: I came in for napkins.
Target cashier, glancing at total: These are the most expensive napkins I have ever seen in my life.